Someone: It’s impossible nowadays to write a comedy show that isn’t offensive
an intellectual:
Stephanie Beatriz is a Hale
She could have been a great Laura or maybe Derek genderbend.
|Change my mind|
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Blacktairs wedding AU
here’s their wedding that I somehow planned a few nights ago??
- the ceremony will take place in the beach behind the institute. (where they… y’know 😉)
- reception is still at the beach
Emma’s
- hair would have three flower braids (I have no idea what the style is called but basically they braid a piece of hair and it turns into a flower when you wrap it on itself) then it’ll have little accent braids at the back
- the little braids would have little gems in it because starlight
- the rest of her hair would be down in waves because Julian loves her hair down
- dress would be gold obviously but it’s going to be made of lightweight material
- sweetheart neckline? yES PLEASE and her dress is high-low where the front stops 8 inches below her knees and the back has a short trail (train??? idk what it’s called I’m not a wedding expert oops)
- her makeup would be really light because she didn’t want any in the first place
- Cristina would insist on the rosegold eyeshadow and the lipgloss though
- Emma insists on at least five daggers and her stele so she definitely has a thigh sheath/holster
- BAREFOOT she would be barefoot
- she’s a beach warrior princess-goddess and we love her she’s absolutely stunningly gorgeous
Julian
- is a nervous wreck
- is perfect
- are men dressed in gold too when it’s a shadowhunter wedding or???
- he works really hard to make sure he doesn’t have any paint on him
- he misses the green and gold paint on his cheek but no one tells him anything
- He uses the cufflinks Emma bought him when they went undercover to the Midnight Theater because yaaass
- Helen has to tape him to his chair so he won’t run off and see Emma before the wedding.
- He doesn’t understand why they won’t let him see Emma
- “we don’t need you getting a heart attack and fainting right before the wedding Julian.” -Dru & Livvy (idc what you all say she’s alive)
Bridesmaids and Groomsmen
Maid of Honor: Cristina Rosales (or Clary? I’m conflicted)
Best man: Mark Blackthorn
- Clary Fairchild
- Livia Blackthorn
- Drusilla Blackthorn
- Helen Blackthorn
- Tiberius Blackthorn
this is so sad Julian only has two groomsmen (reply on the post anyone else who’d likely be Julian’s groomsman please????)
OCTAVIAN BLACKTHORN IS THE RING BEARER 💝
Venue/People/etc
- the ceremony will be held at sunset
- there would be no roof but there will be strings of fairylights and clear lightbulbs above them
- the aisle would be lined with blue flowers and fairylights
- Jem will walk with Emma down the aisle yesss
- Emma’s boquet would be an assortment of flowers that are the closest colors to blackthorn blue
- close friends only are invited (so basically every main character in the books)
- the centerpiece of every table in the reception would be a painting Julian made and a quote underneath
- “you belong where you’re loved”
- “I love you more than starlight”
- “When you love someone they become a part of who you are”
- “You don’t want perfect, you want them.”
- “Every human heart is chained by love”
- “If my heart was a canvas, every square inch of it would be painted over with you”
- “we are bound together, I have always, always belonged to you”
- “Wither thou goest, I will go. Whatever stupid thing you do, I will do also.”
- every sweet quote ever
- if there’s too much quotes and not enough tables the excess would be hanging off of the fairylights just because
The Cake
- three tiers
- below has seashells and sea glass designs the bottom tier will be designed like sand
- middle tier would have a marble effect with blackthorn blue
- top would have stars/the night sky as design
- the mini statue of Emma and Julian on top is Emma in her wedding gown sitting on the ground and Julian kneeling, hugging her from behind
they should totally dance to “two less lonely people in the world” at the reception” 💕
BONUS: Cristina catches the bouquet when Emma throws it 😉😉😉
**psa**
hey u i got somethin important to tell u
come here fren
yayyy k so this is like super important n like the entire world needs to kno
ur amazing
ur a kind and good person
u deserve all the happiness in the world
I love the extra details in Brooklyn Nine Nine so much, like look at the rainbow folders in the background here!
And then they move to Gina’s work station and stay there throughout the rest of the show, in that exact order. Like imagine Gina needing the contents of those folders but seeing they’re arranged in rainbow order and making sure they stay that way
Then Captain Holt gets this lil rainbow flag instead and it moves with him when he gets transferred to the public relations department and then moves with him again when he moves back into the 99
What Captain Holt said in the first episode of the show is so true, like he really doesn’t try to hide the fact that he’s gay, he has rainbow things everywhere like I can’t imagine what purpose that tiny disco ball could have other than to show that he’s gay and not ashamed of that at all (also look at the tiny NYC model it’s so cute)
Gina has a jar on her desk that says ‘Ashes of Problem Employees’ and I can 100% imagine her threatening people she doesn’t like with that jar and them blowing it off but also being just a tiny bit worried
Then look at Jake’s car. He has a rubber duck stuck to his dashboard and a rubber chicken and shaving cream? Like he’s always running late so imagine him just perfecting the art of somehow shaving in the car to save time and washing his face the second he walks into the building so he just always has shaving cream in the car with him and literally everyone who sees him is just sort of disgusted but also a lil bit impressed
And look at his desk!!! He has a #1 Detective sticker on his lamp and this tiny police car and it’s just so so cute to me, like what if he got that police car when he was a kid and first decided he wanted to be a detective and that lil car came with him to uni and to the academy and moving from desk to desk with him until he finally gets to be a detective
Idk I just really love this show and their attention to detail
Please watch brooklyn nine nine
Soulmates are not your ~other half~, that’s just nonsense. You are a whole person already, not half a person. A soulmate isn’t even inherently romantic. A soulmate is just the other sock in a matched set. You’re still a whole, complete sock on your own, you are perfectly functional paired with any other sock, it’s just that it’s even better when you match. A soulmate is literally just the person who makes your soul go “!!! Same hat!!!” and wave excitedly.
I love how Ray Holt is portrayed simultaneously as a serious, emotionless captain as well as the most dramatic and petty person on the whole team. I live for his deadpan dramatic-ness and I’ve honestly never seen a character like him before on TV
The first time we see Kevin, he describes Holt as hilarious and the other characters are bewildered by this, but Holt has been a prankster since the beginning of the show. In the very first episode, when he was making Jake carry on with the robot impression, he was pranking him. The hula hoop incident.The fact he got so into the Halloween heists. Winding Jake up is one of his greatest sources of amusement and he loves playing jokes on people.
It’s just that no one recognises them as jokes because his face stays utterly serious throughout.
So Descendants 2 introduced Ursula’s daughter as the main antagonist, and we got reboots of Kiss the Girl and Poor Unfortunate Souls.
Well, if the new Descendants 3 logo is any indicator of who the antagonist is, then Hades is going to be the antagonist of D3.
Soooooo are we gonna see some Hercules songs?
My personal fav is I Won’t Say I’m in Love, but who would sing it?
Well, we know the Villain Kids are inherently resistent about love, but as we’ve seen, Mal and her squad have already accepted love, so it would have to be some other VK, right?
Sooooooooooooooooo
Who else do we know who has paid the price “for rotten judgement” and could potentially have a love interest in D3 but is also stubborn af and won’t say she’s in love even if people are literally singing it to her???
Bonus points if it’s Huma
Imagine them all having to go through a certain test and Uma getting a visit from the muses telling her that it’s good that she’s head strong but she’s gotta admit to her feelings instead of running…… just a suggestion
They were trapped. Worst of all, they were separated. That’s what they get for seeking help from the gods.
Uma personally knew going to them would be a bad idea. If Poseidon cared about his kids, he wouldn’t have let her grow up on the Isle. She assumed the gods were self-serving and lazy. She even told Mal her idea was stupid, and what did that do? Nothing! Instead, it only made Mal even more sure that the only way to defeat Hades was to go to the gods.
Uma should’ve stayed behind. Maybe then she wouldn’t be stuck in a dark room awaiting what the gods called ‘A Test of Character.’ In response to their plea for help, the gods divided their party, and that was the last thing Uma remembered before awaking in a pitch black room.
Suddenly, the room changed. The black had turned into a beautiful Greek garden, filled with statues and dimly lit by the clear, starry night sky. It was so serene. Uma almost wanted to sit down and relax, but she knew better. This was supposed to be a test, so she had to be ready for a fight.
She reached for her sword, but it wasn’t there. She looked down and found that her whole pirate attire was gone, and in it’s place was a teal toga-style dress. Uma pulled it up a little to find leather sandals where her heeled boots should have been. She raised her hands to her head and found that, not only was her hat gone, but her braids were undone and her hair was pulled back into a high ponytail. She whined in frustration and stomped her feet like a child. Do you know how long it takes to put your hair into a ton a little braids? A long ass time!
Uma shook her head, clearing the momentarily irrelevant distraction from her mind. Then, she started walking around, inspecting the garden while remaining alert. The statues were all freakishly life-like. She passed five statues of pleasant looking women when she suddenly heard excited whispers.
“Ladies, we have our mission.”
“Oh my goodness! It’s Poseidon’s granddaughter!”
“Alright, time to do our thing.”
Uma whipped around to find the five statues smiling wide at her. It was–in a word–creepy.
“What the–“ Uma started, but the tall statue with high hair cut her off.
“We are the Muses!” She announced with a broad gesture to her companions.
“Goddesses of the Arts and Proclaimers of Heroes,” said another Muse with a scroll.
“Pass your test, and you’re free to go to your friends,” said a third muse with a frowning mask in her hand. “Who knows? Maybe we’ll proclaim you a hero one day.”
“Thanks, but no thanks,” Uma scoffed doubtfully. “I’m no hero.”
“You–you’re not?” The tall Muses stammered, confusion taking over her concrete features.
“Nope,” Uma replied, popping the P and crossing her arms over her chest.
“But you came to the gods for help,” the tall Muse recalled. “Doesn’t that mean you’re trying to save Auradon?”
“It might seem that way,” Uma told them. “But I’m not here for Auradon.“
“Well then, no offense sweetie,” said a short, plump muse. “But why are you here?”
“That’s a great question,” Uma said with a fake smile, sarcasm dripping off her voice. “I too would also like to know the answer to that. I would also like to know where exactly here is.”
“Wow, we got a sassy one,” the plump muse stated.
Uma rolled her eyes. “Look, if you Muses ain’t gonna help me, then I’ll find my own way out of here.” She turned to leave, but her foot kicked something metal. The object clanged into view, and Uma looked down at it with wide eyes. It was a shining, shiver hook.
She snatched it from the ground and whirled around to the Muses. “Where’d you get this?” She demanded.
“Oh that?” The tall muse shrugged, “Dionysus dropped it off. It must’ve belonged to the boy he’s testing.”
“Dionysus?!” Uma exclaimed incredulously, her blood boiling, “As in the God of Madness?!”
“And wine!” The plump muse shouted in excitement.
Uma ignored her a forced out a deep breath through her nose. Knowing her wild, off-kilter friend was with the God of Madness terrified her. She didn’t want to find Harry trapped in his mind when she got out of that garden. She had to get to him.
Uma gave each and every one of them a menacing glare as she spoke with gradually fading restraint. “Tell me where he is or I swear to you I will smash you’re statues to bits and remodel them into your gravestones!”
The Muses weren’t daunted by her threats. In fact, realization and newfound interest overtook all of their stony expression. They started to walk off of their pedestal, talking successive of one another.
“Actually, why don’t you tell us about this ‘he?’”
“Anybody special to you?”
“Uh,” Uma blanked, not knowing what brought about this sudden change of demeanor. They were slowly surrounding her. She didn’t want to give them the advantage of knowing a potential weakness, so she simply told them, “He’s a partner of mine.”
“Romantically?”
“What?” Uma asked in disbelief, her face growing warm at the idea of her first mate being more than a first mate. “No! He’s just a friend.”
“Is he a handsome fellow?”
“Strong as the seas?”
“Steady as a mountain?”
“Eyes like twinkling stars?”
“I–I guess so,” Uma stuttered, not sure where any of this was going.
“Have you known him long?” Asked the muse with a scroll.
“Sure,” Uma replied, almost like a question.
“Is he sweet on you?” Asked the muse with Bantu knots in her hair.
Her brained became flooded with memories of all the times Harry got down on one knee and whispered her name, or threatened someone who challenged her, or took her hand in his and gently kissed it.
“Maybe,” was he terse reply.
“C’mon now, Honey,” the plump muse chastise her friend, nudging her in the side with her elbow. “The real question is if she’s sweet on him.”
“Tha–that’s not important!” Uma almost shouted, her voice cracking.
“It’s okay, Sugah,” the tall Muse encouraged sweetly, and Uma gave her a skeptical look. Her aura seemed so calming, yet Uma had only found their questions thus far to be intrusive and stressful. There was a brief moment of silence before the muse told her, “You can say you’re in love.”
“Wha–No! No way!” Uma declared with finality, though she was far more flustered than before, “I won’t say I’m in love!”
And just like that, the Muses were silent. Uma thought she may have gotten through to them.
Until, out of no where, a harp started playing.
The lovely and inviting tune made Uma want to scream and run away.
Why me?
@chanora lol u got me thinking XD
THAT WAS AMAZING!!! 👏🏾👏🏾 And Dionysus testing Harry is genius
@chanora and lets be real tho. Uma would be the DEAD LAST person to finish her test. She and the Muses will come out of their testing room, and Uma will be both embarrassed and confused because the rest of the squad is just sitting around and chilling in togas with the gods. (Uh oh, im gonna start writing again)
“What are you guys doing here?” Uma asked her friends (and Mal’s group), “What happened to your tests?”
“We all finished our tests like forty-five minutes ago,” Jay replied. “We’ve been waiting for you.”
“Oh,” Uma said awkwardly, taking everyone’s frustrated glares as they came. Then, she saw Harry walking towards her out of the corner of her eye, and she didn’t care about everyone else anymore.
“Harry!” She exclaimed, running the rest of the way to meet him. He wasn’t expecting her to practically jump on him in a big embrace, but he wasn’t complaining. He caught her in his arms and chuckled, and that let her know that Dionysus didn’t drive him into insanity. When he set her down, she instinctively started checking him for injuries. “Are you alright?” She asked him.
“Uma, I should be asking you that,” he said with a smirk, and Uma’s heart fluttered at the concern in his voice. She was experiencing all kinds of bizarre symptoms of this new Love thing all at once.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she told him, trying to minimize her smile. She shrugged her shoulders and admitted, “I just had to do the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.”
“Yeah, I’ll bet,” Harry said. “You were in there for a long time. I got worried.”
Once again, Uma’s brain and heart magnified his compassion into some high-inducing endorphin that made her hands sweaty and her knees weak. She was so affected by her new emotions that she almost missed Harry’s next question.
“Wha’d ye have to do?”
Uma’s smile dropped, and she hesitated before trying to explain what happened without actually explaining what happened, her eyes darting everywhere but to his face. “Well, I uh…I had t-to…er you see, I…” she trailed off and finally met his eyes. “You know what? I’ll tell you later.”
And all you hear is the collective groaning of the Muses behind her.
YOO but imagine if it was an illusion?
Next thing you know Harry fades away in a mist and so does everyone else and it swarms all around her next thing Uma knows she’s back in a Greek garden however this one comes with a temple and when she steps inside there is a beautiful woman waiting for her. The Uma approaches her
“What-what is this? WHERES HARRY?WHO ARE YOU?!”
The beautiful women in front of her chuckles
“Impatient and demanding aren’t we, well I have many and names many forms but you my dear can call me Aphrodite.”
Uma gasp at the goddess. No not just any goddess the goddess of love and beauty but more importantly love.
“What do you want from me, I thought the test was over”
“Oh it was my dear but I still feel like you were lying to yourself ‘at least out loud’ you won’t say it but I know that there is a floodgate around your heart that demands to be opened.”
The goddess looks knowing at Uma and raises a brow at her. Uma presses her lips together and clenches her fist she locked eyes with the goddess her cold hard eyes started right at her as she refuses to give an answer.
“Now now Uma you know I’m not the enemy here, I’m just doing my job as a goddess you can glare at me all you want but I don’t care about your souls I care about your heart and I can sense that it’s in pain, tell me this isn’t just you’re feelings but something else.”
Uma takes a breath, there was no hiding from the goddess her test wasn’t over and if she dosent get out of here soon she might let Harry and her crew down.
“Of course” the goddess beams “Of course he is the first one who comes to mind.”
Uma’s throat feels tight she wasn’t going to cry but she wanted to scream. Aphrodite was an underestimated goddess indeed, everyone always says that she’d be the most useless in a battle but here she is crumbling Uma’s walls practically defeating her.
“Uma you are smart I’m sure Athena herself would be proud but I am not Athena and you should figure out the reason why I’m here love and beauty are my specialty, you are as beautiful as the bright coral reefs of the sea but your heart is not content, there is something you fear what is it? You must tell me if you ever want to see him-Harry again.”
Just then Aphrodite holds up a very similar hook that shined at the tip. Uma gasp at the sight.
“I know he’d want this back who else perfect enough to return it to him other than his beloved captain, it will be yours once you open your heart and tell me.”
Uma took a deep breathe she built every courage she could and unclenched her fist, her head dropped but she looks up at the goddess who was looking at her with a way to gentle smile and a knowing look.
“My heart huh? Fine yes I love him….I-I love Harry Hook.”
Aphrodite gave a brilliant smile and Uma’s own words shook her core there was a sort of relief that washed over her but her heart was still heavy.
“And…..”
The goddes replied, obviously wanting more than a confession, Uma knew what she wanted and she dreaded to next words that will leave her.
“And I’m afraid that he may not love me back as much as I loved him, I’m afraid that all these years of loyalty I was just fooling myself and over thinking that he may feel the same way but-but I must wrong Harry is a good villan he knows how to play with minds and hearts and I might’ve thrown myself into a trap.”
And with that Aphrodite smiled but it wasn’t like before, the smile was sympathetic as she watched the young sea witch bravely try to hold back her tears. She approached Uma and extended her hand that held the hook towards Uma. Uma looked at it then at her.
“Hero’s and villains don’t know just how both powerful and fragile the heart could be, it’s funny cause I’ve seen Harry’s heart as well, I know his feeling towards you Uma.”
Just then Uma’s eyes shimmered and widened, the goddess rushed to finish what she had to say before Uma assumed anything.
“No no I won’t tell you that, that you must find out by yourself here take it.”
Just then Uma took the hook and held it like a precious treasure, she was at a lost for words so many things were reeling through her mind.
“You know Uma I like you, and not just because your family, I will give you a deal and a blessing, if you tell Harry Hook how you feel I promise that you will get what you most desire, and I know it’s more than just revenge, now go you have passed your test and when the time comes complete your deal.”
After moments of speechlessness Uma finally spoke again.
“Alright fine it’s a deal and…thank you.”
Just then at the end of the temple the walls begin to shine brightly, holding her head up high Uma nods to Aphrodite and walks into the light.
@dxscxndxnts sorry I took it too far but I just popped into my head!
Omg! I never knew I needed something like this so much until now! Great jobs you two!
shanastoryteller